Out with the old...In with the New.

Here's to you and to a better year to come. Whether you have had loss of love, home, finance or self confidence...a new year brings with it the hope for a better day.

Our destiny is in our hands. Grab hold of all that is good and let it propel you towards your fondest dreams for the best life has for you.

Goodbye 2008...I will cherish the good times, and let go of the bad...I will take all the lessons I have learned and apply them to the new year.

Hello 2009...we will be great companions...

Merry Christmas!

1978 I believe.

Happy Holidays

In honor of the holidays...I'm directing all my (3) loyal readers to go check out this post.

The holidays can be a joyous and beautiful time...if only we just ready to make our minds up that no matter what that IS what's going to happen. Here's a snip I truly appreciate.

Surrender to the moment. If you’re committed to spending a
certain amount of time with family (or any group), embrace it. Turn off the phone and ignore incoming texts. When you make an effort to enjoy yourself, there’s a good chance you’ll succeed.

On Simplicity has some wonderful information for living a better life...or at least LOOKING at life better.

I hope for every one a Peaceful Loving Holiday. (even if you have to spend it with the family you don't like)

See you after Christmas!

Christmas Spirit~Please don't fail me now...

I feel like the spirit of Christmas is being sucked out fo me...and I'm clinging on for dear life. I am estranged from my mother, my most wonderful Grandmother has passed away, my other Grandmother is nearing closer and closer to death herself, my IL's really suck, and all but one of the members of my extended family that I love with all my heart live miles and miles away.

My kids are greedy and selfish (geez how in the hell did THAT happen??) and bitch and moan every time they are asked to pick up the stuff they have left strewn about the house or turn off the tv and spend some time with me and Dad. Not to mention they are all about getting along this minuet and NOT the next...No one's calling to have them come play, and they are not making any calls themselves.

My DH is NOT the "get into the spirit" kind of guy...as a matter of fact he's pretty much the "bah humbug" type. He does enjoy giving the "perfect" gift...but never gets really excited about what he gets. When I try to do something I am usually responded to with the "I don't care" or "whatever"...answer. Today I told him to cheer up, he's off work for two whole weeks...to which he replied "why, I don't have anything to be happy about". Ugh...really? I mean we have a nice house, beautiful children, our financial situation has turned around for the better, and he has a JOB. I think that's pretty good stuff to be thankful for.

Unfortunately...it's always been my job to keep the merriment going...and sometimes it just gets to be to much. I am incredibly grateful for so much that I have in my life...material and non...but being surrounded by so much poor attitude and nothing ever really being enough for any of them, can really take it's toll.

I bought DH a can of his favorite chili. Only one can, cause after that it starts to seep out of his pours and makes me gag. I bought sugar cookie dough mix so the kids could make cookies and I would not have to deal with all the labor of it...I bought a Sara Lee coffee cake while I was at the store...We used to have one of those every Christmas morning when I was growing up...I feel warm glowing memories just thinking of it. We have some great Christmas music playing and I am not to shy to start singing out loud...even if I am the only one home.

I think it's time to put on some comfy couch clothes...make some nice hot cocoa and sit down to a few of my favorite Holiday movies...It's a Wonderful Life (cause yes it really is), Holiday Inn, White Christmas, and I think I'll throw in The Sound of Music...cause I could use the inspiration.

What holiday movie would you watch if you had the chance to sit and really enjoy it?

It's the beginning of Winter Break

It's nearly midnight, I'm all alone, and I'm (almost) wide awake.

Today is the second day of "Winter" break, and so far so good...lol. The kids have spent an extraordinary amount of time outside the last two days. Which is unusual, but it might have something to do with the fact that I wouldn't let them watch tv, play video games, or be on the computer all day.

Friday school was cancelled due to the weather. That meant that the kids missed out on their parties/special activities. They really really wanted a snow day...I really really wanted to savor my last day alone. A typical day spent at home means tearing through the house leaving a trail of destruction, endless tv shows many of which we've seen several times already, video gaming at will, and grazing every 1/2 for DD and eating as little as possible for DS. Well NOT this day home!

I turned off the tv at 7:30 am to get them fed dressed and teeth brushed...this was not received with the love it was given...so NO tv for an hour...oh you want to argue and whine about it...no tv for two hours...As soon as they got used to that idea, I told them that because they had wished for a snow day...they were going to have to spend the day running errands with me!! HA! This was not received well either.

So the plan was, drop off Grams groceries, pick up earring cleaner for DD at the mall, dog food and printer paper. It was lunch time when we got to the mall, so we had lunch first. Did you know that a McDonalds Cheeseburger (you know the one in the kids meal) is 300 calories! Then we made our rounds...Claire's for the cleaner, and some new Christmas earrings...Special coffee for mom...What do you mean you don't have the Eggnog coffee??!! I settled for a different seasonal blend, Hallmark for ornaments (dd picked out a sock monkey on a previous shopping trip), DS picked out a $32 Star Wars ornament (this is his second), nothing for me, hey let's go to the Disney store...lame. Then I suggest we stop into one little shop and see if Mom can find a cute holiday shirt...I found 3. Candy cane frozen treat, and a stop to pick up my favorite holiday candy...Eggnog Creams from Fannie Mae (someone should have stopped me).

While at the mall, I tried to get my kids to get a picture with Santa. Neither of them were having any of THAT..."why don't YOU get your picture taken with Santa" DS says...hmmm...next year, when I've lost a few pounds maybe. I'll teach you, you little snot!! While on our way to the exit, this guy was really irritated he was not able to zoom his way through the store. He looked like he might actually start on fire, so I moved, told DD to step aside cause "this guy needs to get out much more than we do".

We headed over to the office supply store...$30 later with hopes that I have the right paper for future calendars...then to the pet store. Dog food (check), large can of premium dog food (check), special Santa and Christmas tree shaped dog treats (check). Done!! On our way back home...Did I happen to mention that the kids are not allowed to turn on tv (well that's ANY electric items) for two hours after we get home because I had to tell them several times to stop fighting at Grams...geez. So when we get home, they put on the full winter gear, and head outside!! Woo Hoo...it's ALMOST, like being alone...except I need to check on them every few mins...Then I send them out with a few cards for the neighbors. This day isn't turning out too bad.

Today was spent cleaning with the ipod in...to drown out the whining, cause yet again, I told them they are NOT watching tv all day. DH scraped ice off the drive for like 5 hours...ok, I don't really know if that's how long it took, but it was a long time, and again I had the house pretty much to myself since the kids went outside again to play in the snow (which is frozen).

Not too bad...I ate a litte too much today...alright, WAY to much today. I will have to make a meal plan tomorrow, and pick up some groceries...I was able to finish up the calendars for my parents, and loaded an electric picture frame for my Gram with some new and old pictures. She's stuck in her room most of the time, and there isn't room for a lot of pictures...so I thought this might be a nice change of scenery for her.

Ok...it's time to get some rest...The wind is really picking up outside, and I'm still sleeping in the family room because of my back. I'm lonely and want to be back upstairs in my bed...I'm going to give it another try tomorrow night. Wish me luck...

A Winter Memory~Kat's Writing Assignment

The Prompts:

1.) Write or share a letter to Santa.

2.) Describe a favorite Winter memory.

3.) Last night it snowed buckets and you are forced to spend the entire day at home with your family...what's the plan!?!

4.) What's the best gift you've ever gotten/given.

5.) Describe a Christmas tradition that you have started with your own family?

I do have plenty of wonderful winter memories...I have kids, they make for great memories. There is the one of my son crying while Grandma pulls him in a sled that just isn't working...or the one of my DD falling straight back to make a snow angel...or there's the time Brandon stole the carrot nose off the snowman the kids built in the back yard...This memory is all about ME.

The first 6 years of my life were spent traveling. I was born in Maryland during a snowstorm that nearly had me being born in the back seat of a car...Shortly after my birth, my parents traveled to Illinois to visit family, then off to California. My father was in the Navy, so there was a lot of moving around. After California...it was Hawaii...then back to California. That's where my parents divorced, and my mom and I ended up in Mexico..I believe I was 4 or 5 years old.

Do you see a trend...all places with NO SNOW. At least after I was old enough to actually remember being somewhere.

After Mexico, we moved back to Illinois...where both my parents grew up. I'm guessing we came towards the end of summer or just shortly after school started. I was in first grade I believe. During this time we lived with my Mother's parents. This was a very proper house with sheers covering all the windows so as to not fade the furniture...So there was never a clear shot outside.

One morning I had gotten up and headed for the kitchen. My grandmother asked if I had looked outside...what could there possibly be outside to see...Off to the nearest window I went. WOW what a site...everything covered in a think white blanket...I bolted to the door and ran outside in my nightgown and NO shoes. I scooped up a handful of this beautiful gift from nature into my hands like I was scooping up a wounded bird...It was magical...I had never seen anything like it before...and I couldn't get enough...It was certainly time to get me all the necessary gear...coat, boots, hat, gloves, scarves...I don't think I had ever that many items of clothes on at one time.

Anyway I still get all googly when there is a fresh blanket of snow on the ground...but it's never like the first time....

The dynamics of the couch

My dogs are NOT like regular dogs. Well they eat dog food, and do their 'business' outside...but I don't think they think they are REAL dogs.

The current living room arrangements have a couch for 3 and a recliner for 1. Since I have had to sleep in the recliner for the last 6 weeks ( and that is getting really old, and I will be harassing my Dr for help) I have spent more time at night in the family room with DH watching tv until I fall asleep and he wakes me up to give me the chair, and then he him self lays out on the couch.

This whole thing has been a problem for the dogs. They seem to think the couch is theirs and the idea of having to sleep on the floor is damn near unthinkable. Here's how it usually works...I or dh is laying on the couch...what was once a 3 person spread, is not anymore. One dog will come nudging around till they find a way to curl up around our legs. Not long after, the other one will come with a most pathetic face looking at me like I have taken away their chew toy..."Mom, I want to lay on the couch too."...To which I reply "There is no room...go lay on the floor.".

That idea does not go over well...now there is dog #2 making a desperate attempt to wiggle onto the couch. If these had been small yappy little dogs this would not be problem...but they are not. They both weigh over 60 lbs!!

Today I am watching while one (the older) lays in the middle of the couch. The baby (who is at least 2" bigger and 10lbs heavier) tries to wriggle into a small spot on the end...She pushes and is practically sitting on the other...who is unfazed and is NOT moving to give her a little room. Funny enough this is a similar situation I would have found myself in had I gone to bed AFTER dh was already in there asleep...NO BUDGING.

Poor babies...why can't they just sleep on the floor like NORMAL dogs...

Encouraging Creativity and Imagination in my Daughter

My daughter wants to be a fashion designer. Really?? She's 9 and she's been talking about fashion for about 2 years. I thought it would be a short phase, as are most at that age...but she seems to be hanging on to it...tightly.

Now I'm all for encouraging my kids to be who and what they want. I mean if she wants to be a fashion designer, that's just great. I signed her up for sewing lessons...she made a pillow case and a pair of pajama pants. The teacher was less than enthusiastic. I mean, if it had been me taking the class with this lady, I probably would have decided to change careers...but not my stubborn little girl.
What really gets me is that I do not sew...my mom did not sew either...I just don't feel the need to sew gene pulsing through my veins...so how did dd get it? My 92 year old grandmother was sewing until a year ago...but my dd never did any sewing with her...and she's not my blood relative either, so again...no passing of the gene there. My MIL sews...or used to. I have (had) boxes of Halloween costumes she made herself...but she never did any sewing with my dd...I guess there's just enough of that form of creativity in her blood to get her going.

I would love to encourage her more...I DO have a sewing machine...I've had it for 17 years...thanks to my MIL...I never asked for one...and for the 17 years that I've had it, I think I've used it 4 times...mostly for Scout patches....I really don't know how to use it.

During the "winter" break, I'm going to try to set up the machine so that dd can access it without trouble. I may even go to the fabric store and buy really cheap remnants for her to practice on...Maybe she'll make another pair of pajama pants so we can see how much leaning she was able to hold on to.

I would love to hand my dd off to a creative sewing mentor..but I don't know any. It sucks...cause I believe that this just might be something that will stay with her, like those kids who want to be firemen or policemen...and really do. There's this part of me that isn't sure how to encourage and support this desire, when I don't know how to help..and really, I'm not interested in taking sewing classes at this age. There is still no part of me that really feels like making my own stuff...

What I don't want to do is be the reason she doesn't become what ever it is her heart desires. Unfortunately, she's going to have enough people out in the world telling her what she can and can't do...and that's not going to come from me. I would do whatever however I can to be sure that if this is something she wants to do, that she has all the tools necessary to do it. I just hope I'm not going to have to take any sewing lessons...ew.

Watch out all you fancy fashion designers...this girls gonna rock the fashion world someday...mark my words!!

Because I couldn't help myself

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

You will Pee Your Pants!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

One step forward...two steps back...

Ok...so I may just be losing my mind. I got a call from a customer looking for product that I KNOW I have...trouble is, I can't find the box it's in. We've done a lot of shuffling in an effort to paint and organize. I even had DH come in and look...cause you know there are times when what you are looking for is right smack in front of your face, and you can't even see it...Well that's not the case here...it's gone...missing...lost. UGH!!

Yesterday, in an effort to get my Christmas cards done, so I can laugh at everyone who isn't done yet, I went looking for my lovely sticker sheets. I like to print 100 labels for every one in my address book...so I feel like I got a lot of loved ones...I'll give you one guess where this one's going...Yup!! Can't find them. Funny, I used them in October to do DD birthday invites...where the *bleep* (that's a nod to our current Governor) they are now.

Soooo....now that I have to write out the addresses...some people aren't getting them...Like the *bleep*en *bleep* that couldn't remember my name at Thanksgiving, even though I've been the only "other" girl, and I've been coming for 17 years!!!!

So...I mailed the last gift that needed to be shipped today!! Woo Hoo...I have ZERO gifts left to buy!!! Oh yeah!! All I have to do if finish the calendars, and give out some gift donations...oh and sometime before Christmas I need to take a NICE picture of the kids together to give to the Grandparents...cause we all know they don't need one more *bleep*en thing this holiday season....

And to top it all off...I was out yesterday and today and never replenished my liquor cabinet...ugh...does tequila go good with Kool-aid??

Feeling the need for Palm trees and sandy beaches

Next year, I want to dip my toes into warm white sand instead of bundling up to brave the snow. It is finally time that our Christmas traditions change around here. Yeah, I would like to have great big gatherings with friends and family....Lasting all day, laughing, playing games, watching hokey holiday movies, opening gift, telling jokes....but that's just not the reality. I'm ok with that...It's not like I have a choice...I got screwed when it came to close family/friend connections...Some of it is all on me...some of it is not.

Next year, I want to make memories that include more than just picking up discarded wrapping paper...avoiding the camera cause when I look my worse is the ONLY time my DH ever tries to get my picture....putting in batteries, cutting of 10000 teeny tiny ties straps, ripping and tearing and HOPING that my kids will treasure these moments.

Next year I want to go away to somewhere that requires shorts tee shirts and a bathing suit (cause I'm gonna look HOT in a suit next year, even if it requires me to drink a lot so it's only in my mind). I want to be somewhere that inspires me to take tons of pictures that look nothing like the one's I took last year, except for the beautiful smiles on my kids faces.

I'm finished wishing that I could have a small bit of Norman Rockwell moments, while everyone else is stuck feeling bad and can't let go of their own petty problems. I'm finished caring if what I do is enough for YOU, when it's enough for me...and my kids.

Next year I'll be too busy to blog about what I good time I want to have...cause I'll be feeling good and having fun where family pain and agony isn't allowed to follow...

This year...I pouring myself a glass of wine, flipping off the negativity, and taking every single bit of enjoyment I can find...and pat myself on the back for NOT falling apart.

I have a lot of great ideas....

Sometimes I think, "wow, I've really got a lot of great ideas"...Then all of the sudden, my mind is blank.

Over the weekend, I had some great thoughts on what to write about this week...now, it's quiet (except the the great 80's music in the background) and I am drawing a complete blank.

Last week, while trying to gain a little bit of sanity in the basement...I came across a box of old pictures...What a time capsule. There were pictures of my first year back here in the States, a few of my grade school birthday parties, my one and only Halloween picture in my "Snow Princess" costume, and then pictures though to my bridal shower...

I LOVE coming across old pictures and mementos...Especially when I haven't seen them in a while. It really makes me go back in time...sometimes I feel what I felt at the time in the pictures, while other times I have no clue who/what/when/where that picture came to be. It's funny how the mind works.

Here's my friend Jenny!

Laurie and Bill (NOT together anymore)

Denyale taking a picture of me taking a picture of her...lol. DJ getting in the way (as usual)

Because I'm a picture junkie (meaning I like to see them on other blogs), I'm going to post a few from my High School days...Just cause that's how I like to roll....Enjoy a blast from 1988!!

PE crew...I guess...LOL...I'm the one in front right...I have no idea what the hell we were doing that day taking pictures in the gym locker room...maybe someone remembers.

Ahhhh...memories. Here's hoping the good ideas come back tomorrow!!

I feel so random

The other day I was sitting in the kitchen...on the laptop, when I heard a strange noise. I can't really say what it was, but I couldn't place the origin, so I let it go.

Later that day, I was sitting in the kitchen...on the laptop (no coincidence) and I heard what sounded like a piece of popcorn falling into a metal bowl...strange. No popcorn, no metal bowl with a kernel in it...hmmm....

Then, ds and I were in the front room and we heard what sounded like a crash...in the kitchen. We both came in...looked around, and found nothing. Then we checked inside cabinets, the other rooms...came up empty.

Today, I'm kinda weirded out about it...This is probably the first house I have ever lived in where I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt, there are NO ghosts. Still, I don't think it's haunted...but it's just about the strangest thing to happen since we've been here.

Oh, the night that my Dear Gram died...I think she was in my kitchen with my Gramps, and she was doing dishes...I know I know...Here's the deal. I've been sleeping in the family room alone in the recliner because since I hurt my back, I still cannot sleep in the bed and wake up without being crippled. I woke up (don't' know the time, can't see a thing) and heard what sounded like water running and dishes clinking. Not loud, just very distinctive. I didn't get up, I didn't look...but I just knew that if I did I would see my Grandma like I had for so many years, all plump and happy, standing at the sink cleaning the dishes...and Gramps would be sitting at the table smiling. I just knew that is what I would have seen if I had gotten up...but I couldn't...

What do YOU think...

A Tribute to my Grandma

For Grandma

When your gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When your gone
The face I came to know is missing too

I miss you...





I feel like my heart is so broken. In my life, there have been few people who truly loved me as I am for who I am...My Grandma was a big hearted woman who loved everyone...She had 5 boys, I was the first little girl...and I just knew she loved me...no matter what. That's so rare, and something I truly miss...I loved her laugh her hugs her birthday cards with $5 in it, even after I became a mom myself.

I've been looking for some pictures to post...but I have to post this. I cant' get this song out of my mind and thought I should share.

Embrace every moment in life...do what your heart tells you...cause you don't want to wish that moment back.

I'm sucking at keeping up...

So I'm falling behind...go figure. Yesterday DH stayed home and totally threw off my schedual..sort of. I managed to get some stuff done...LOL>

I've been working out on my Wii Fit...lots of fun...but can get lost one it...So glad Oprah was a repeat...and not a Fun repeat. I did an hour and 20 mins...woo hoo...I'm still waiting for my ass to fall off...please help.

So I wrapped the kids Santa gifts yesterday...LOL>...I can hear my name being called out in vain...but I'm done!! Woo Hoo...I can't believe it. I have a couple of Scrapbook pages to do for one gift, and some wrapping mailing of some...but I am sooooo ahead of any other year I can't even stand myself. I feel like I should have a grand ol' party...

In the spirit of the holiday season and because I'm really pissed I missed the SITSmas party at The Secrets in the Sauce...I'm including a picture of me and DD at last one of the girl scout holiday parties. Go check out the other SITStas...and check out the prizes!!