Practicing Patience

I have been reading The Art of Happiness. Ok, well I've been skimming it mostly. I'm trying to find the part that pertains to me. I think I found it, it has to do with Patience. In the book the Dali Lama explains that we learn patience through suffering and through our enemies. We do not learn it when times are good, and our friends do not challenge us in this area.

I have a problem with patience. When I make a decision...I'm ready to just get moving. Once I've made a decision about something to do...I want to DO it! I don't really want to wait around and think about it...Thinking comes before the decision. Once you have made it, it is time for action. How exactly does this pertain to my current situation...Why is my patience being tested now?

Well, now that my husband has decided to move out...I want him to pack up all his stuff. I am ready to see some action. I want to see the space where his things are open up! He's going to wait until the last minute, I know it, and I have to let him do it in his own time. I have to be patient. This is not all about me...There are other people involved in this. I have to allow everyone to move at their own pace.

Now that I am no longer intimate with my husband...I am ready to pursue a sexual relationship. I miss being touched, being held, kissed...made love to. Of course I am not single, I am still married and I have to respect myself, my marriage and my husband. I have to be patient. I am ready to start my new life..I'm ready to see what my new normal is going to be. I've made the decision to start a new life...I am ready for it. BUT, it is not time...there are still things that need to be done. I must be patient.

There are days...I just want to scream! Why can't I just close my eyes and find everything has moved forward when I open them. It's time to practice patience, and sometimes, it just physically hurts. There are days I am actually sick to my stomach when I really look at what is happening right now...but I am learning. This is how it must be. I must learn to be patient. In the end, I will be a stronger person. Not only am I learning something, but I am teaching my children as well. For that I need to step back and allow time to move as it is intended....

"The key to patience are Acceptance and Faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and the direction you have chosen."
Ralph Marston