Getting the spirit back!

Here come the holidays...Ugh. Really, I am truly and honestly trying so hard to get into the spirit. I'm just not feeling it. My brain is a jumbled mess, I can't seem to focus on what needs to be done. I probably need to make list...probably need to just sit down for a minute and THINK. Grrr...

Made it through Halloween...Thanksgiving...and now I just need to tackle Christmas. This weekend we decorate. I'm going to do my best to throw my whole 'stuck in the mud' self into it. I'm going to put on all that crazy Christmas music....take out every single box of decorations we have. What I always loves most were the Christmas lights...so I'm going to light up my entire home...On the inside. I'm still not to crazy about doing the outside. Well, there is that one light up deer...that will make it, maybe.

What kills me the most about the way I'm feeling is that my kids are missing out a little. I love to get goofy and drag my loved one's in. Despite the fact that they protest...I know deep down, they count on it. As optimistic as I am...positive, outgoing...never let them see you cry...This is just killing me. Ugh. I tell myself on a daily basis to snap the fuck out of it already....

For a moment, I can even fool myself. Then I turn around and realize, I am more Scrooge than Little Timmy. I need to do something. This canNOT continue. I need to get that little bit of spirit back, so I can annoy my kids with it. I do not want them to miss out on a single special moment...cause I'm feeling sorry for myself. No way...not going to happen. Tomorrow...I am putting out ever single Christmas item I have....Yes, even the ugly stuff. Nothing like having something to laugh at...

Wish me luck...I have two days to infuse myself with the Christmas spirit. Then I have to work on Shopping...cards, gifts...ugh. Really dammit...I'm gonna running through town before you know it...Just like George Bailey...