For the first time...

For the first time since I decided to file for divorce...I am afraid. All day I have just wanted to cry...It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was not prepared for it. Funny how your emotions can take you over sometimes. I don't like it at all...this being afraid crap. Unfortunately I know that this too is all apart of my growth process. How nice it would be to just feel sure of every moment...but then we wouldn't really be growing would we. We'd be stagnant...and wouldn't really know true joy cause it would just be 'normal'.... This too shall pass....embrace the good moments, they pass too. Accept the bad moments, they are there to build you up, NOT take you down. I know this. As I held back my tears talking to a co worker, I told her that I knew in intellectually that I have the power to make everything ok, and this is not a permanent situation...I just wish my emotional side would get on board. Right now...I'm going to feel my feelings...really feel them. I'm going to accept that this moment is just important as the calm rational ones...Then I'm gonna put on my big girl pants, brush myself off...and take the steps to make this situation better!