The Truth

It's time to be brutally honest with myself.

I am LAZY.

Right now I'm not doing one damn thing to honor myself, my choice to be a single parent, my kids or my future. I'm not doing anything at all.

I'm not excercising.

I'm not eating well.

I'm not taking care of my house.

I'm not taking (good) care of my kids.

I'm not getting enough sleep.

I'm not doing any of the things that I KNOW will make me feel better, live better, be happier and be a better person/parent/lover/friend.

Nothing.

Why??? Well...cause it's exhausting. Took me 17 years to finally get out of my marriage. To finally decide not only was I worth a better life, but so was my husband and my kids. 17 years. That's a long time to REALIZE something you knew deep in your heart from the beginning.

It's time to get honest with myself about what I'm doing with my time. It's time to get honest with myself about what thoughts and feelings I'm spending my energy on. It's time to get honest with myself about how at 41 I do NOT have another 17 years to Realize I need to do something different. The time is NOW.

So...what am I going to do? Hmm...well, I'm going to stop wasting my time.

1. Meal planning~This will help my budget, my health and that of my kids. They are old enough to help cook, and it's time I start showing them how important a proper diet is. How much better you feel when you cut out the processed foods and spend some time preparing a meal that honors your body.

2. Excercise~More than anything I miss my Yoga. My legs are so damn tight and sore I feel like a rubberband wound up. Just a little in the morning and a little in the evening makes my body feels so much better...and we're only talking 20 mins each. I can do that!

3. Schedual~those things I keep forgetting. Dogs pills, filter changes, softener salt, watering the plants. I'm forgetting all of it, and the effects of that can be detrimental. I have to admit, there is a lot going on in my head, I do NOT need to rely on memory when I can use a calendar to remember for me.

4. Time to plan~15-30 mins can make a HUGE difference in your day. That amount of time looking at the calendar, meal plan, checkbook...or what ever, can mean the difference between a smooth day...and one that causes that "I need to have a drink" feeling.

5. More Rest~in order for me to get up and do anything in the morning before I head to work, I need to get to bed earlier. When I was married, I was asleep at 9pm and awake at 5am. I was highly productive in the early moring hours. To accomplish this, I must respect my time after work. Not turning on the computer or tv until I've cleaned up the house a bit, done my yoga, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I have dvr, so my shows won't get lost...they will be there when I have time.

6. DO~this is a big one. I spend too much time gathering information, reading about the things I want to do, thinking and imagining...I do not spendin a lot of time Doing the things I enjoy, or desire to do...Time to start doing what I love, and stop just thinking about it.

7. Let go~Time to let go of those old useless habits. This is a new day and new life...The journy has only just begun, and there is no room for old tattered baggage of negative habits or thoughts. Let go of what I used to think, what I used to believe. I am overflowing with love and positive energy that is just waiting to envelope my life...I just have to let go of the rest.

8. Focus~I have been working on this for YEARS. It's a problem with me. I can't focus, cause I'm always trying to be 97 steps ahead of myself. Stop it. Stay on track, until you get to the end. This is going to be especially helpful with my meal planning and my budget. But it will also aide in all the other parts of my life that are jumbled in my head waiting for me to give them the attention they deserve.

9. Listen~to what? My soul, my kids, my body and the energy around me. Life has a funny way of telling you what you need or what direction you need to take. You just need to listen. You're kids will tell you what they need, sometimes in the most unobvious way possible...if you are not listening, you will miss it. You're body, well that's easy, if you are tired, bloated, constipated and in pain, you're body is telling you that you are not doing what you need to do.

10. Stay true to myself~I made some big choices for very good reasons. I need to remind myself on a daily basis that I was right, and that I need to stay true to myself...that path is my true path and will lead me to the life I have been dreaming of...Along the way, there will be a plethera of joy and satisfaction. Just stay true!!

Ok...there's my plan. So I guess it's time to get off my lazy ass and get moving on my items. I think I'll print this and put it up as a reminder to myself.

I am worth the time and effort...